Armon Jay Details

Alcohol and drugs didn’t destroy Armon Jay’s life.

The Ties That Bind UsJay — born Armon Jay Cheek and a member of emo pioneers Dashboard Confessional, as well as a solo artist who will release his new record, “The Dark Side of Happiness,” later this year — didn’t end up homeless. He wasn’t arrested. He didn’t lose his standing as a respected session and touring guitarist who’s been on the road since he was a teenager.

But addiction, he acknowledges, isn’t about the heights to which those who suffer soar, or the depths to which they fall. It isn’t even about a specific substance, although he leaned more toward painkillers before he got sober, he told The Ties That Bind Us recently.

In the end, it’s always about “more” — and even today, the need for “more” is still an integral part of his psyche. It doesn’t drive him to destructive habits like it once did, but it’s always there, he said, lurking just beneath the surface.

“It can be something as simple as ice cream,” he said with a laugh. “Last night, we were just hanging out at home, and I wanted some ice cream, so I went to the freezer, got a cup of it and ate it. And as I was sitting there, after I was done, every part of me wanted to get back up and go to the fridge and have another ice cream. ‘More’ kind of applies to everything in my life.”

Granted, he didn’t jeopardize his sanity for something as innocuous as ice cream, but the drive to use external things to assuage internal discomfort has been a part of him for as long as he can remember, he added. Fortunately, his sobriety has given him coping skills and recovery tools that turn that simmering need down to a negligible whisper, and some days, he doesn’t feel it at all.

But when he does, he now knows what to do.