Cirque, as the regulars call it, is more than just a night out on the dance floor. It’s a whole night of entertainment: dominatrix dwarfs, seductive girls dressed as pigs, men in leather and gimp masks (you see the theme here) all dance to a killer mix of hip hop and RnB on a low stage in the centre of the room. And post performance? It’s all about the photobooth and the superb bouncy breast room, which is, quite literally, a room with two inflatable breasts you can clamber on and slide off. The darkness, little corridors, confusing corners, invites hedonism. As does the Dom Perrignon (with light up branding just so everyone knows what you’re drinking) delivered to you by a beautiful waitress who pours a goblet of champagne into your mouth using her own mouth. If you’re drunk, this will end disastrously. But what with fantastic table service, magnums of grey goose and a never-ending procession of Dom P adorned with the mandatory sparklers, we’re afraid you certainly will be.